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#How To Deal With Difficult In-Laws - Tips for Dealing With Difficult In-Laws

Learn how to deal with hurtful or frustrating behavior without ruining a relationship

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Why is it that you can tell your own mother she's driving you crazy, but not your mother-in-law? Precisely because she's not your mom. "You don't have a history with your in-laws, you didn't grow up with them, so you don't know how they'll react to criticism," says Susan Forward, PhD. "The unexpected is what makes confronting your husband's family so scary."

What do you do? "Work as a team and ask your husband to step in and talk to the person," she says. "Although he's the one stuck in the middle, you're his wife and he should have your back, even with his parents and siblings." That doesn't mean making him choose between you or them. "It's not about detaching himself from his mom, dad or anyone else," says Dr. Forward. "It's about him summoning the courage to tell the person, 'She's my wife, I love her and it's not acceptable for you to treat her this way.'" Often, it takes a dose of reality from their son or brother, rather than you, to get difficult in-laws to back off.