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If you are getting into a custody battle - in Texas or in any place in the world - the key thing to aim for is to avoid taking it to court.

Certainly there are some cases where a court case is unavoidable, but in so many cases the only real winners are the legal professionals, who are paid handsomely for their work in helping an estranged couple tear eachother to pieces.

Make no mistake about it, when a custody dispute goes to court it is always a dirty business. Your chances of winning depend entirely upon your ability to convince the judge that you are a fit and capable parent, while your former partner is as incompetant and unloving as a care-giver as you are competant and compassionate.

Certainly there are times when, for the sake of the safety of the child, the failings of your former partner need to be put on public record, but in the vast majority of cases, if you can resist the temptation to try and publicly humiliate your former spouse, you will have far better dealings with him or her in the years ahead, and that is going to benefit everyone - you, your ex, and your little ones.

What many people don't realise is that there are alternatives to court. You can work through the issues yourselves, and you can get official mediators to help you work them through, without having to have it turn into a legal nightmare.

Further, if you can find a good lawyer, he or she can do most of the hack work for you, and help lead you to a firm and legal agreement that will serve the interests of you and your children, without the case needing to be heard in court, and without it needing to be astronomically expensive.

Your first goal should be to become informed about your options. Read the relevant articles on this site, and try to understand the basic parameters of the law. And then find yourself a good lawyer - ideally not one who will lead you into a bloody and expensive legal battle, but one who will help you avoid one.

Divorce is the term used to refer to the legal dissolution of marri.

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