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#The Complete List of Weird Sex Laws in the U. S. A.

Over on io9, we posted a map of all the weirdest sex laws in the U.S.A. We didn't have room for every weird sex law we found, and some of them we had to shorten a bit to make them fit. So here's the complete, unedited list of sex laws!

Moose are banned from having sex on city streets (in Fairbanks).

You may not have more than two dildos in the same house.

Flirtation and lascivious banter between men and women on the streets may result in a 30-day jailterm. (in Little Rock.)

It's illegal to sell stuffed items resembling breasts ( boobie pillows ) within 1000 feet of a highway.

No man shall dress as a woman without the written permission of the sheriff. (In Walnut, CA)

Male massage parlor workers must wear all white clothing. (In Adams County).

Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.

Married couples (as well as singles) cannot engage in open lewdness or lascivious behavior

The term sadomasochistic abuse is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.

All sex toys are banned.

If you sell a reptile, you must give a written warning not to nuzzle or kiss them.

It's prohibited by law to suffer any bitch or slut (referring to dogs) (in Minooka.)

It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

Illegal sodomy includes oral sex, but anal penetration with a finger is allowed under specified circumstances.

Dogs must not molest property or people.

Until 1975, people wearing bathing suits on any city street were required have a police escort.

Necrophilia is legal.

It's illegal to use fortune-telling, astrology or palmistry to settle lovers quarrels. (In New Orleans.)

Massachusetts

Making noise in a public library is a crime against chastity, morality, decency and good order.

A man who seduces or corrupts an unmarried woman faces five years in prison.

Low-riding pants that expose underwear are a Class B offense. But if they expose butt cleavage, they're a Class A offense. (In Flint.)

It's illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

Adultery or premarital sex results in a fine of $500 or 6 months in prison.

Prostitution is a crime against the family.

Adultery is illegal. And so is pretending to be married in order to share a hotel room.

It was illegal to swim naked in the Red River between 8 AM and 8 PM. (In Fargo.)

If a man promises to marry a woman and she sleeps with him, the marriage must take place.

Public erections are illegal.

Students may not hold hands in school.

It's illegal to own more than six dildos.

It's illegal to marry your first cousin before the age of 65 — or 55 if you can prove both parties are infertile.

An adult cannot show sex paraphernalia to a minor, unless they're your own child. (In Salt Lake City.)

Adultery is a misdemeanor.

Obscenity is a bigger crime if you use a computer.

If you give a sex worker a ride to work, your car can be confiscated.

West Virginia

An unmarried couple who lived together and lewdly associated could face up to a year in jail. (Recently repealed.)

Top image: THX-1138.